Jesus Calling: Enjoying
Peace in His Presence
by Sarah Young
Copyright 2004. Published in Nashville,
Tennessee by Thomas Nelson.
Unless otherwise quoted Scripture quotations used in this book are from: The
Holy Bible, New International Version. (c) 1973, 1978, 1984, International
Bible Society.
Introduction
I first experienced the Presence
of God in a setting of exquisite beauty. I was living and studying at a
Christian community in a tiny Alpine village in France. This was a branch of
L’Abri, an international ministry that began in Switzerland through Francis and
Edith Schaeffer’s work. During my stay at L’Abri I was free to explore the
fairyland-like environment all around me. It was late winter, and the noonday
sun was warm enough for sunbathing, but the depth of the snow kept it from
melting. Brilliant sunlight reflecting from pure white snow was cleansing my
mind of the darkness that had held it captive for years.
Every
day I climbed up a steep hill to attain a view that delighted my soul. As I
stood at the top, I would lose myself in a panorama of unbroken beauty. Below
me was the village that had become my home. Viewed from this height, the
village was dominated by a high-steepled church. Turning 180 degrees, I could see
Lake Geneva far below me, shouting greetings
in refracted sunbeams. When I looked up, I saw icy tips of Alpine mountains
encircling me. I would turn round and round, absorbing as much as I could with
two eyes and a finite mind.
The
daughter of a college professor, I had been encouraged to read widely and think
for myself. I had majored in philosophy at Wellesley
College and had almost completed my
master’s degree at Tufts
University. A few months
earlier my brother had asked me to read Schaeffer’s Escape from Reason. To
my great surprise and delight, that small book had answered questions I’d long
before dismissed as unanswerable. It was the intellectual integrity of Francis
Schaeffer’s teaching that had drawn me to that pristine place. Though the quest
that had taken me there was a search for truth, it was God's glorious creation
that helped me open my heart to Him.
One
night I found myself leaving the warmth of our cozy chalet to walk alone in the
snowy mountains. I went into a deeply wooded area, feeling vulnerable and awed
by cold, moonlit beauty. The air was crisp and dry, piercing to inhale.
Suddenly I felt as if a warm mist enveloped me. I became aware of a lovely
Presence, and my involuntary response was to whisper, “Sweet Jesus.” This
utterance was totally uncharacteristic of me, and I was shocked to hear myself
speaking so tenderly to Jesus. as I pondered this brief communication, I
realized it was the response of a converted heart; at that moment I knew I
belonged to Him. This was far more than the intellectual answers for which I’d
been searching. This was a relationship with the Creator of the universe.
The
following year, back in the United
States, I had another encounter with the
Presence of Jesus. I was grieving the loss of a serious dating relationship and
wondering whether being a Christian made much difference in the quality of my
life.
At that
time, I was working as a technical writer in Virginia. My boss sent me to Atlanta to attend a
conference. I accepted this assignment dutifully and checked into the hotel
without enthusiasm. Alone in my room, I felt waves of desolation wash over me.
So I began walking the streets of Atlanta
aimlessly, trying to escape my solitude. I glanced at some books in an outdoor
stall and was drawn to Beyond Ourselves by Catherine Marshall.
That night as I read the book, I no longer felt alone. I knelt beside the bed
in that sterile room a d felt an overwhelming Presence of peace and love come
over me. I knew Jesus was with me and that he sympathized with my heartache.
This was unquestionably the same “Sweet Jesus” I had met in the Alps.
During
the next sixteen years, I lived what many people might consider an exemplary
Christian life. I went to covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, where I earned a master’s degree
in counseling and biblical studies. While there, I met my husband, Steve, a
third-generation missionary to Japan.
After graduation, we spent two four-year terms in Japan doing church-planting work.
We had a baby girl during our first term and a baby boy during our furlough in
the United States.
After our second term we returned to the U.S. for three years. We lived in Atlanta, where Steve worked with a local Japanese church
and I earned a further degree in counseling at Georgia State
University.
As part
of my training, I worked at a Christian counseling center in the Atlanta area. I cherished
my experiences of helping deeply wounded women find healing in Christ. I was
also thankful for my kind, loving husband and our two delightful children, who
were the main joys of my life. However, not once during those sixteen years did
I vividly experience the Presence of Jesus.
So I was
ready to begin a new spiritual quest. It started with delving into a devotional
book, The Secret of the Abiding Presence by Andrew Murray. The
theme of this book is that God's Presence is meant to be Christians’ continual
experience. Murray
emphasizes the importance of spending time alone with God in quiet,
uninterrupted communion.
I began
reading the book at a very unstructured time in my life. We were waiting for
our Australian visas to be approved so that we could begin a church among
Japanese people living in Melbourne.
I had quit my job to prepare for the move overseas, so I was adjusting to the
loss of my fulfilling work as a counselor. In the midst of those momentous
changes, I began seeking God's Presence in earnest. My days started alone with
God, equipped with Bible, devotional book, prayer journal, pen, and coffee. As
I waited in His Presence, God began to reveal Himself to me. An hour or two
alone with Him seemed too brief.
The
uncertainties I faced at that time deepened my increasing closeness to God. My
husband and I had no idea how long it would take to receive permanent residency
visas, so the waiting period seemed to stretch indefinitely into the future.
During that period I had four surgeries, including two for melanoma. A Bible
verse that comforted me during this difficult time of waiting also accompanied
me on the seemingly endless flight to Australia: “You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace” (Isaiah 55:12).
We
settled in Australia
and began our dual ministries. I supported Steve planting the first-ever
Japanese church in Melbourne,
but my main ministry focus was counseling Australian women, some of whom were coming
out of terrible abuse and spiritual bondage.
Our
combined ministries subjected our family to intense spiritual warfare, and I
prayed for protection every morning. One morning as I prayed, I visualized God
protecting each of us. I pictured first our daughter, then our son, and then
Steve encircled by God's protective Presence, which looked like golden light.
When I prayed for myself, I was suddenly enveloped n brilliant light and
profound peace. I lost all sense of time as I experienced God's Presence in
this powerful way. I had not sought the experience, but I received it
gratefully and was strengthened by it.
Only two
or three days later, a counseling client who was an incest survivor began
remembering experiences of satanic ritual abuse. This form of Satan worship
involves subjecting victims (who are often young children) to incredibly evil,
degrading tortures. My courageous client and I walked together into the
darkness of her memories. But God had prepared me for stepping into deep
darkness by first bathing me in His glorious light. I realized that experiences
of God's Presence were not only for my benefit but were also preparation for
helping others.
The
following year, I began to wonder if I could change my prayer times from
monologue to dialogue. I had been writing in prayer journals for many years,
but this was one-way communication: I
did all the talking. Increasingly, I wanted to hear what God might want to
communicate to me on a given day. I decided to “listen” with pen in hand,
writing down whatever I “heard” in my mind. As J. I. Packer wrote in his book Your Father Loves You: “God… guides our minds as we think things out
in his presence.” This is how I was listening to Him—by focusing on Jesus and
His Word, while asking Him to guide my thoughts. I was not listening for an audible voice; I was spending time seeking God's Face (Psalm 27:8 NKJV).
My
journaling thus changed from monologue to dialogue. This new way of
communicating with God became the high
point of my day. Of course, I knew my writings were
not inspired—as only Scripture is—but they were helping me grow closer to God.
This became a delightful way to encourage
myself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6 NKJV).
As I was
learning to seek God's Face, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)
became a life-changing verse. Alternate readings for “Be still” are “Relax,”
“Let go,” and “Cease striving” (NASB). This is an enticing invitation from God
to lay down our cares and seek His Presence.
Among other resources, Praying: Finding Our Way Through Duty to
Delight has been helpful. This book, written by J. I. Packer and
Carolyn Nystrom, contains a wonderful quote from Martin Luther—“If the Holy
Spirit should come and begin to preach to your heart, giving you rich and
enlightened thoughts, . . . be quiet and listen to him who can talk better than
you; and note what he proclaims and write it down; so will you experience
miracles as David says: ‘Open my eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of
thy law’ (Psalm 119:18).”
During the years that I’ve been
waiting in God’s Presence and listening with pen in hand, I have found themes
of His Peace becoming more prominent in my writing. I’m sure this tendency
reflects, in part, my personal need. However, when people open up to me, I find
that most of them also desire the balm of Jesus’ Peace.
This practice of being still in
God’s Presence has increased my intimacy with Him more than any other spiritual
discipline, so I want to share some of the writings I have gleaned from these
quiet moments. In many parts of the world, Christians seem to be searching for
a deeper experience of Jesus’ Presence and Peace. The devotions that follow
address that felt need.
The Bible is the only infallible,
inerrant Word of God, and I endeavor to keep my writings consistent with that
unchanging standard. I have written from the perspective of Jesus speaking, to
help readers feel more personally connected with Him. So the first person
singular (“I,” “Me,” “My,” “Mine”) always refers to Christ; “you” refers to
you, the reader.
I have included Scripture
references after each daily reading. As I waited in God’s Presence, Bible
verses or fragments of verses often came to mind. So I interwove these into the
devotions. Words from the Scriptures (some paraphrased, some quoted) are indicated
in italics. Certain Bible verses figure rather heavily in my writing. That is
because God often uses these passages to strengthen and encourage me, raising
my sights from my “light and momentary troubles” (2 Corinthians 4:17) to His
eternal perspective.
Themes of thankfulness and trust
recurred often during my listening times. These themes are quite prevalent in
the Bible, and they are essential for a close relationship with the Lord.
The devotions in this book are
meant to be read slowly, preferably in a quiet place—with your Bible open.
Remember that Jesus is Immanuel, God with
us. May you enjoy His Presence and His Peace in ever-increasing measure.
~Sarah Young
